My New Ghost Shrimp

I had two new shrimp and twoglofish in a bowl getting adjusted to the small amounts of tank water (so I could add them to my aquarium) I was pouring in with their old tank water. I walked out to grab the net to fish them out with, and as I was walking back into my office, approaching the bowl set in the middle of the desk, one of the shrimp jumped out. It did not clamor out, it did not hop out, it jumped like it was in the fucking shrimp olympics going for the gold medal. It went about a foot high, and landed about 3 feet away from my desk. I gasped so hard I'm surprised it didn't shift mid air and get sucked down my larynx. We both froze, me with goosebumps everywhere, him probably asking himself if he was still alive, and then he proceeded to flop around on the floor.

I somehow got the little bastard inside the net, and back in the bowl, and put the paper towel I'd been using to clean up the drops of water I spilled, over the top of the bowl. As I was taking the lid off for the tank, as I was not waiting another minute to dump him deep down into the tank, the paper towel popped up in the middle.

It was the grosses, creepiest thing I've experienced in a really long time. In fact, it was comparable to your mother.

Duck Duck Goose

There are these two guys, probably late 30s, sitting at the coffee shop a couple tables away from me and my friend. This guy, clearly walking toward the door, stopped at that table. He turned quickly to them and said loudly in the crowded coffee shop, "Do you guys ever play Duck Duck Goose in the dark?! Cuz I DO!" and turned and walked out with a crazed smile on his face.

Everyone around us just died laughing. That was possibly the coolest thing I've seen at a coffee shop. Ever. And the look on the guys face he was asking, was just as priceless.