skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I get made fun of a lot because I always spill. Ask ANY of my friends. They will tell you. I'm a clutz. So anyway, I had this tomato that was the size of a softball, all juicy and fresh out of my buddy's garden. I'm chompin away at it, oblivious to the fact that it is spraying seeds and juice all over my kitchen until I finish eating it. I was eating on the counter about 2' away from where this picture was taken.Notice the gathering of juice on the small ledge as it had finished dripping down the wall. Click to enlarge picture for further embarrassing detail and clarity.I'm just...not even going to say anything.
So girls are stupid. Why when we get together, does everything go out the window? I mean, let's face it I don't have a shit ton of common sense anyway, but throw me in with another few girls, or even just one, and forget about it.
Kayla and I decided we'd have a girls night of drinks and wandering Sugarhouse late at night after some Mexican food and a movie. So I make my special, amazing, blue margaritas. The second margarita, I am told to chug. I'm already giggly and buzzed so I obey. We then make a 3rd half margarita before stumbling to the store that's 1.06 miles away. I remember pieces of this walk...I remember laughing a lot. I thought walking 2 miles would sober us up, but no. I throw up twice before bed, and call it a night.
I wake up and bolt out of bed, my brain wondering why, my body saying run. I make it out my bedroom door when I start the heaving, and end up on my hands and knees in the middle of the kitchen throwing up. I was only 15' away from the toilet, and I didn't make it. When I say throwing up, I mean hurling my guts out like the main guy on Team America World Police. My kitchen floor looked like Hiroshima...if someone had added some blue koolade to the atomic bomb. The blast radius was at least 4' in diameter. So this isn't one of those, two paper towels, spray some Lysol, go back to sleep kinda messes.
Kayla slept through the whole thing, I realized, as I returned to bed a good half hour later after the clean up process.
So this morning, I remember my love seat's being delivered today. I rearrange my living room, all the while just wanting to go back to bed, and they arrive only to tell me the back of the love seat is 1" too tall! ONE! to fit down my stairs.
I thank them and dismally close the door behind them. I go back downstairs and grab my purse off the kitchen table, intending to take it into my bedroom, when a long white string stretches with it. I look down, and apparently when I'd set my purse on the floor in the movie theater, there had been a nice big wet wad of gum that was now smashed and smeared all over my kitchen table and purse.
It's days like this when you just shoulda stayed in bed...unless you have to puke of course.
Introducing the Ice Cream Spade! When a Scoop just isn't enough! I just had to take a picture of it.
I always thought it was interesting how our utensils are shaped. I mean look at the Asians. They use sticks. What do they look like? Sticks! Maybe it's not "You are what you eat" but "You are what you eat with."
American's on the other hand, we have miniaturized pitch forks and swords to stab and slice big chunks out of our food, and don't forget the small shovels so that we can scoop up as much as we possibly can! But that's just not enough, let's ad a SPADE to our arsenal of cutlery.
Srsly, who thought of this? Some fat ass that thought, "This ice cream scoop is just so slow and small I want more and I want it NOW!"
