So Sleepy...

SO last night, 4 AM, I wake up, wide awake, no idea why, and am like, that is weird, might as well pee. So I hear Teeko's collar jingle from his kennel as he shakes off and sits up, which he always does when I do something in the middle of the night, sometimes he cries. Anyway, I am washing my hands, and I hear footsteps! I freeze, and Teeko comes waltzing into the bathroom! So I'm like "HOLY SHIT, DEMON DOG, WHO IS HERE?!" cuz the first thing a robber or rapist would do, is let a big black dog out of it's kennel. SO I grab my tazer, and roam the house for the intruder, preparing for the inevitability of a fight followed by rape and torture. 


As I near his kennel, he shoves himself back inside through the tiny crack he'd somehow made in the zippers that are supposed to 'lock' when they are together. "That is a NO NO," I inform him as I slide a piece of thick rope through the two. 


I lay in bed. Til 5. Til 6. Wondering if I should get up. I don't, I finally fall asleep probably at 6:30 to awake to an alarm 30 minutes later and snooze it for another 30. 


I get ready for work, take Teeko outside, and he derp da derps around, not crapping, just watching the dump truck while he proceeds to not dump anything himself. For the love! After 10 minutes, he sits down and stares at me. So we go inside, and that's when I spot it.


The giant blob, not pile, did I say pile? No. BLOB! MOUND! GLOB! of shit in the living room, next to a puddle of urine. How precious. 


I love being 45 minutes late to work.

Guinea Pig Kisses

As if I'm not a big enough nerd, I'm so determined to post from my iPod because my laptop is not set up, I also have to do it in HTML mode as the normal doesn't work!!! That's a fuckingsrsly moment in itself.

My friend owns this adorable guinea pig. I love holding her and petting her, and she'll even purr! It's so awesome! This time however, she wasn't really purring. "Hug her, sometimes she gives kisses instead!" I excitedly hug the guinea pig under my neck, petting her softly.

"Oh she gave me kisses awwwwe!" I exclaimed and, satisfied with the mutual affection, returned her to her cage.

I found out shortly after that it wasn't a kiss but in fact a turd. Maybe I hugged her too hard...