Be Brave with Braids

http://granitepeaks.org/index.cfm?method=ClassInfo.ClassInformation&int_class_id=19984&int_category_id=1&int_sub_category_id=104

FINALLY! A class that can help me. Often times after braiding my hair, I get this feeling...what other braids are out there in the world? Are they better than my braids? Stronger than my braids? And how would I know to do them?

I just need to learn to Be Brave with Braids. For only $15, I can finally walk outside, confident with my braided hair. No more will I lie awake at night after seeing a braided girls hair, wondering, what kind of braid was that? Did it come from here, or was it other worldly? What if I braided my hair like that? Would everything be okay? Would Teeko die?

What a horrifying task it is to braids one hair. I'm so glad there is finally something out there to give me the reassurance I've always yearned for with my braids.

Death of the Laptop

Just days after joking about how my laptop was my child (who's Teeko?...oh yeah!) it decided to throw me a big middle finger, and explode.

Most people are like, hey, it's for work too, you get a new laptop, hurray! NO! Only a year and a half old, it was just a behbeh! Also, so much extreme nerdism went into my regedit, it was customized in ways that would make the average person go 'Eh?' that I could puke. My workflow was smooth and perfect, everything how I wanted. And now...it's gone...suicide. Kaput.

At least I was able to salvage the harddrive! Although most everything was backed up already, cuz I ain't stupid. But f you ever need one salvaged, come to me, I save you money...me love your computer long time. Although, I warn you, I'm cursed. Just a mere glance might make it short circuit in ways that Short Circuit wouldn't even understand.

Dog 'Lover'

I went to a brand new dog park with Teeko this evening. He did so good, he went through the tire, the tunnels, I even put him on his leash after awhile and walked around, so good! But I digress...this story is not about Teeko. It is about...MOLLIE.

I walk into this dog park, and there are a group of maybe 5 ppl huddled together, so of course all the dogs aren't going too far away, aren't playing that much, because they have to stick close to there owners. So it's apparently really exciting when Teeko and I get there, because 8 dogs gather around us. I say hi to them and pet them all, this went on for about oh THIRTY SECONDS was all, when one of the ladies says, "Mollie get back here, you're making me jealous!"  ........................................

First off, can you imagine how this woman would be with her kids? She would be one of those ladies that has a little boy and holds his hand even when he's 15 years old (I've seen boys like this!) and are jealous of their son's girlfriends. You're jealous of your dog being curious about someone knew? What kind of sick, insecure, pathetic, sad life do you live? Holy shit!

I listen to her talking, and she goes on and on about how, 'oh Mollie will roll on her back but 10 feet away, how am I supposed to pet your belly when you're that far away? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!' Yeah. That's some funny shit right there. I could barely contain my laughter. I almost threw up it was so funny...

I then sprint to the other end of the park, and of course all the dogs follow and start actually playing and running around, and as I walk back, she's still talking about her! Every time I'd jog back and forth, she'd be yapping about her Mollie. WOW. I feel so bad for this dog, she probably just wants to be left the hell alone for five minutes. What's wrong with ppl?!

Halloween Pen

I went to a cute Halloween store on 54th and Redwood called Halloween City. I found a few things I wanted, including stencils for pumpkins that are pretty much already cut out! You just have to tape it to the pumpkin and follow the lines, hurray!

Standing in line behind a girl and her mom, I notice a cute Halloween pen. The girl was about 8, clearly too excited about her new costume her mom was buying her to care about a pen. I however did. It was purple, and lit up when you wrote, AND had feathers on the end with a skull! So I reach in front of her to grab the pen, it was standing next to many others, all being held by a little box so they could stand up all cute. As I try to pull the pen out quickly to not be in the way, the whole box and all the pens start to come with it. I quickly let go and noisily shove it back, and pretend as though I didn't really want the pen anyway. The little girl grabs the pen, puts her hand on the box to hold it down, pulls it out, and hands it to me with a 'there you go,' smile on her face. "Thank you," I mutter as I take the pen.

Glad the 8 year old handled the situation before I broke something. SIGH!

My McDonalds Man

A few mornings ago, I stop by McDonalds on the way to work. I pull up to the drive through and the guy asks how I'm doing today. I said, "Great!"
"That's wonderful to hear!"
He then asks if I want my receipt and I said, "No thanks I'm good."
"Well of course your good!" he responds. "You're far to lovely to be evil. Especially with that smile."
I smiled and laughed a bit...How the hell do you respond to something like that?! "Thanks," I finally mumbled, embarrassed and not knowing what else to say.

This morning, I pull up and the guy wishes me a good morning. "Morning, can you split a 50?" I ask.
"Sure!" He takes the fifty and pretends to rip it in half.
"HA!" I exclaim, as I am easily amused.
"Wow look at that smile."
Oh here we go, I think he's starting to recognize me.
"I bet you knock your boyfriend's socks off with that smile, huh?" he gushes.
I JUST WANT COFFEE! I'm sorry Dungeons and Dragons man, but I do not want to have a flirty interaction every time I want an iced coffee in the morning. I just want my delicious vanilla iced coffee and to be on my merry way!
I respond, "Maybe haha," cuz I mean it's kinda flattering and I'm not going to be a jerk to some random Dungeon Master, he might throw his 8 sided die and cast a level 13 Love Spell on me. I should have just said, "You bet I do! I knock his socks off, and his pants off, and then we fuck! And he'd beat anyone's ass who even spoke to me." But I could not think of such clever antic dotes at such an awkward time.
Then he ends, as always, with, "You come back anytime now okay?"
It's fucking McDonalds! Most of you are now open late, I will come back anytime! Don't you worry yourself back to a level 2 Paladin about it, I know!

So Sleepy...

SO last night, 4 AM, I wake up, wide awake, no idea why, and am like, that is weird, might as well pee. So I hear Teeko's collar jingle from his kennel as he shakes off and sits up, which he always does when I do something in the middle of the night, sometimes he cries. Anyway, I am washing my hands, and I hear footsteps! I freeze, and Teeko comes waltzing into the bathroom! So I'm like "HOLY SHIT, DEMON DOG, WHO IS HERE?!" cuz the first thing a robber or rapist would do, is let a big black dog out of it's kennel. SO I grab my tazer, and roam the house for the intruder, preparing for the inevitability of a fight followed by rape and torture. 


As I near his kennel, he shoves himself back inside through the tiny crack he'd somehow made in the zippers that are supposed to 'lock' when they are together. "That is a NO NO," I inform him as I slide a piece of thick rope through the two. 


I lay in bed. Til 5. Til 6. Wondering if I should get up. I don't, I finally fall asleep probably at 6:30 to awake to an alarm 30 minutes later and snooze it for another 30. 


I get ready for work, take Teeko outside, and he derp da derps around, not crapping, just watching the dump truck while he proceeds to not dump anything himself. For the love! After 10 minutes, he sits down and stares at me. So we go inside, and that's when I spot it.


The giant blob, not pile, did I say pile? No. BLOB! MOUND! GLOB! of shit in the living room, next to a puddle of urine. How precious. 


I love being 45 minutes late to work.

Guinea Pig Kisses

As if I'm not a big enough nerd, I'm so determined to post from my iPod because my laptop is not set up, I also have to do it in HTML mode as the normal doesn't work!!! That's a fuckingsrsly moment in itself.

My friend owns this adorable guinea pig. I love holding her and petting her, and she'll even purr! It's so awesome! This time however, she wasn't really purring. "Hug her, sometimes she gives kisses instead!" I excitedly hug the guinea pig under my neck, petting her softly.

"Oh she gave me kisses awwwwe!" I exclaimed and, satisfied with the mutual affection, returned her to her cage.

I found out shortly after that it wasn't a kiss but in fact a turd. Maybe I hugged her too hard...

Spaghetti Factory Guy

Every Wednesday, I hang out with one of my g/fs. We were frequenting Spaghetti Factory a lot. Well one night several months ago, some time around the end of summer, we had a pretty cute waiter. He wasn't amazing or anything, but pretty cute, and very polite and mannerly. So I decide to leave him my number.

So I don't hear from him. It's several weeks before I dare return to Spaghetti Factory again and this time I'm not wearing a hat, last time I was. Maybe he wouldn't recognize me without the hat? Maybe he wouldn't even work on that night.

Well of course he'd work on that night and get our table. I keep my head low, and try to be cool and not obvious, but I mean a brown girl and an Asian girl going to an Italian restaurant has to stick out like a second Sun. However he seems cool, so I soon relax and stop worrying about it. Thank God for hats right?

So we pay and leave our tips and as we're walking out he says, "Thanks for coming again," and I say you're welcome and continue on when I see my g/fs wide eyed expression and smirk. "He said 'AGAIN'! He totally remembered." OMG HE DID! HE SO DID! Needless to say, it was again a long time before we went back.

Tonight, we decide to try somewhere we hardly ever go. Applebees. We sit down, and the waiter asks for our drinks. I look up, and I can't even fathom what my jaw dropping horrified expression looked like, as I stared up at the SpagFag Man. It was him! Same name even, I notice after recognizing his face.

"That was him!" I hissed at my friend after he'd smiled and taken our order.

"Who? No it wasn't! How can you even recognize him? You must be mistaken." I insisted she asked him. He came back shortly later, and I make sure I'm staring down at my plate as she asks the damning question. "Did you used to work at Spaghetty Factory?"

"Yes I did!" he confirmed. "I used to work at both places but now just here, I like it better here." And he was gone.

"I am SO sorry but that's hilarious, but I'm sorry that sucks!" said my g/f between fits of giggles.

He kept smiling at me, even she noticed that! And she doesn't notice shit! Even when she asked for a box, he said to ME, "I'll bring that right out! :D" OMG WHY? WHY!? Just go away! What are the odds? UGH! I wanted to bury myself in my shrimp pasta or strangle him with a noodle until he was convinced that waiting was no longer his preferred career path.

He's everywhere! I can't escape him! The one time I ever leave my number for someone and he shows up like a nightmare wherever any form of pasta is present. I made some spaghetti a few nights ago and I'm half expecting one day I'll open my refrigerator door and there he'll be there holding a water pitcher and a tray asking if that will be all and if I've saved room for any dessert.