So I'm at this party, and my buddies Jeff and Jessica always has the best parties, mature people, know everyone, love everyone, I can leave my purse wherever, sleep there, not have to worry about a thing.
Well Friday night, Jessica's surprise birthday party, some guys started showed up I'd never seen before. They were older, all in black, and instantly started drinking everyone's booze.
My instincts were warning me about these guys, which is a huge red flag since my instincts tend to generally suck ass (You don't even know!). So I see one of them open the front door a couple hours after they'd all been drinking, another tried to run out, and they start wrestling, and another joins in. They're all shoving and laughing and slamming against the wall and one of them drops a full can of beer on the floor. They stare at it for a minute, and then continue on their way, shoving, laughing, splashing in the newly formed puddle of alcohol sputtering out of the rolling can across the living room floor.
So, being a wuss, I start throwing down napkins and paper towels, working around them, trying not to take an elbow to the face as I diligently clean.
About 20 minutes later I hear my buddy Louis, "Hey you guys seriously knock it off," in the living room. Two of them were wrestling AGAIN. Normally, I am a wuss, I don't dare to yell at people because I'm always afraid, what if they're at the next 5 parties and hate me? How awkward, I'd feel bad, boo fuckin hoo. Well I've been working on my directness and thought, fuck this!
I storm out there, I fling open the front door, grab this guys' bulky arm and said, "I just had to clean up after you guys I'm not doing it again take this fucking shit outside NOW!" They both stopped and turned to look at me. I open the front door wider and point. "You're not doing this shit in here anymore! Get out!"
Upon hearing me freak out, Jeff quickly comes into the room asking what's wrong and if they were fighting. "We're just messin around," said the guy closest to the door.
"Well do it outside," said Jeff.
They walked outside and I slammed the door behind them. "Wow," said Louis, staring at me in surprise, as I am usually the girl who randomly giggles at anything. I smiled at him, beaming. I wasn't even buzzed either! All done sober, fuck YEAH!
"Thanks you're awesome!" said Jeff hugging me.
"No problem, you don't fuck with my friends, or their shit," I said.
But seriously? Oops, excuse me, I mean FUCKING SRSLY? They were like 35! And I'm like all short and small, cleaning up after and around them, and they're still all wrestling? Fuck that shit!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment